It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
