We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
