Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
