I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
