someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i would punch a child for taco bell
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize