At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
