The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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