I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize