I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
