I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
