so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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