Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
