Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
