So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
