with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
