thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
