There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
