I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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