That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I could make wine with my vomit
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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