Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Dear god my vagina.
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