god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Randomize