He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I need to sanitize my soul.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
