took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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