Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
