I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
