Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
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