Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
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