So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
