About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
