So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
