i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
