then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
