Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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