Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Houston, we have a squirter
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
