so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Randomize
