I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
