STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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