Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just want nice things and good sex
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
