Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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