I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
