it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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