I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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