sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I wanna passion pit in your ass
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize