well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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