It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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