good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
