I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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