She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
