exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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