i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
