I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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