In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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