SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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