hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He felt like a one man threesome
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
