I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
