he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Randomize
