Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
