what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Randomize
