goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
