If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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