I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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